I feel bad.

I've been neglecting this site. For a Tumblr of all things. Yeah, I caved. And it isn't even a themed one (though I did register the name "FuckYeahMatchGame" should I ever want to get on that train).

I don't know, it's easy to post things, entries are meant to be short (I take way too long writing things for here and they turn out long and rambly). It's nice exercise in conciseness and I can post exorbitant (I always try to put an H in that word) amounts of Stevie Nicks pictures and people will love me for it (a very specific subset of people, mind you, but still...)

So, yeah, for silly pictures and drunken Fleetwood Mac faces, gohere. Again, angsty whining that I don't want you to see is for livejournal (If you don't have access to it, I'm probably writing about you...lol, jk, I have more important things to write about. Actually, yeah, I've prolly written about you, whoever you are. Not necessarily a bad thing.). And I'll try to be vaguely interesting when I post here. Deal?

But things here will likely still be long and rambly, unless I decide I really love microblogging (Wikipedia says Twitter is a microblogging service, which it totes is, but I've never thought of it that way before...I've always thought of it more as where you post what you ate for dinner after your facebook friends get sick of your daily "shower then work then eating pizza with @soandso and @soandso! and chillin all night!!! <3 <3" statuses (Which are totally fine when talking about a particularly exciting/fun day, and hey, I guess they're more individualized than "Can We Pretend That Airplanes In The Night Sky Are Like Shooting Stars I Could Really Use A Wish Right Now <3) (I just FB searched that line and as I was searching for it 2 more people out there in the world decided that line said everything they were feeling and felt the need to share it with their friends) (I'd be okay with all this if it some kind of epically classic song, but...) (I'm a fan of "not making your status the lyrics from Airplanes on facebook)(I'm prolly gonna lose a lot of Facebook friends over this post). Let's move on before I belittle anyone else's facebook statuses...I swear I'm not judging any of my Facebook friends in particular too harshly. Just overall. And I post superfluous Farmville/Treasure Isle/Frontierville [best game ever. Seriously. Even if you hate Farmville and the people who play it give this one a chance. There's going to be an Oregon Trail component at some point] things about clumsy reindeer and clobbering groundhogs on the head, so it's not like I'm the ideal Facebook friend.

Topic? A while ago in Pride Alliance we did this thing where we came up with stories where our gender affected us in some way, for better or for worse (usually for worse). I knew gender constructs were everywhere and affected everything, but I struggled to come up with stories that were both interesting/entertaining and thought provoking) But as of now I have a situation I wish I could've brought up, cause though it's a pretty common one, I don't know what to make of it. So yesterday I was boarding the metro, and I assume a Cardinals game was about to start, since the train was packed with Red-clad sports-fan-looking people. Anyways, I couldn't find a seat, so I stood up front and held on to the support bar thing, as did this other girl who got on the same time I did. So then this man who was sitting down signals for his pre-teen sons who are sitting in front of him to give up their seats for us. They didn't move at first, the other girl was like, "oh no, it's fine" and I had my iPod in so I pretended not to hear, cause I didn't want the kids to give up their seats. The man kept insisting, saying his kids "had to learn eventually" A bunch of thoughts ran through my mind:
(A) Damn, my backpack's heavy! And it's hot today and I sure am tired! I guess I'll take the seat. La di da. (The other girl and I both eventually sat)
(B) I'm getting off at the next stop, it's really alright, I don't need the seat.
(C) I don't want to make the kids disobey their dad and I don't want to take away his authority. I guess I'll sit. (I mean, he can raise his kids however he wants. I was just uncomfortable that I was dragged into the lesson he was teaching them when I didn't necessarily agree with it)
(D) If it's so important to you, why are you making your kids stand? Maybe I'm making false assumptions, but you seem perfectly capable of offering me your seat... (On a bad day, and if I had been feeling slightly bolder and if the guy hadn't been bigger and older and scary, I would've said this; it's probably what irked me the most. But if for some reason he'd been unable to stand I would've felt really bad)
(E) If you're trying to impress a woman, then sure, offer her your seat. Not because it's chivalrous, but because it's giving and she'll think you're a considerate person. But I don't think these kids want to pick me up or anything. And I hope their dad didn't want to.
(F) Eeeeee, Midwestern Hospitality! I love it!!! (I'm surprisingly traditional for someone so progressive. It's a shame that so many traditions have unfortunate implications)
(G) Raaaaaaar Listen, having a vagina doesn't mean I'm so weak that I can't stand upright for five minutes whilst traveling from point A to point B, so fuck off, mister I am crazy feminist hear me rrrrooooaaarrr Towandaaaaa! (This would've embarrassed everyone involved, myself and women everywhere included and especially the kids, and that's definitely not what i wanted to do. But it did cross my mind)

So I thanked the kids as I got off the metro, since I was thankful that they were nice about it and all, but after I started walking way from the station I was worried about what message I had just sent them. Like I don't know what I should've said in that situation, since kindly rejecting the seat didn't work and the kids had already stood up, but I wish I'd said something. Like if a guy holds a door for me or even if he offers me his seat on the metro because it's a nice thing to do, then great, that's very kind nice of him. But eventually these kids might think that while it's something they might not be inclined to do (which is fine. I wouldn't give up a comfy seat on a train unless someone really needed it. I mean, there's giving and there's catering to everyone's wishes) it's something expected (which it might be as of now), something necessary, and something women need men to do for them. Yet I'm sure the man didn't mean anything unfortunate by it and was just following how he'd been raised, and I'm sure he was a perfectly well-adjusted person and a great parent and he definitely stuck to what he believed in.
I don't know; sometimes my love/romanticism for all things old-fashioned comes into conflict with everything else I value.

So I took part in a psych experiment on body image today and I was going to segue into a rant about those and how sad some of the things I was asked on the survey made me feel (not because of my answers, but because of how I imagined others answered), and I started to write it, but I feel like I should do some research on the matter first before I say something insensitive/offensive/uneducated. So that's coming up. And if you have any ideas for an entry, on here, tumblr, LJ, or otherwise, let me know.

One week without you, thought I'd forget

1) My blog's ugly, and it makes me sad.  I wish web design were more my forte.
2) I kind of want a tumblr, but I think it would be narcissistic, even for me. Maybe I'll make a FuckYeah*InsertPersonHere* page, though I don't know what I'd make since this site (most useful web resource ever) told me that FuckYeahJodieFoster already existed. Ideas?
3) Rue McClanahan died? Sad...now Betty White's the only living Golden Girl. (I don't know if I mentioned how much I love Betty White here yet, but I do...Lately both she and Fannie Flagg have surpassed Charles Nelson Reilly in my ranking of favorite Match Game contestants. I know, unheard of.)

Anyways...

I used to love "Vacation" by the Go-Gos because it was in the Rugrats vacation special (where they go to Las Vegas and rescue the white "kitties" in the show...that must've been Harsher in Hindsight, post Roy Horn's tiger attack). The original played in the beginning and then Angelica butchered it later on:



(Sadly I couldn't find a video but here's the audio)

But now I like it because, well, I love the Go-Gos. If I could join any band, it would be them. Perfect balance of mall brat and rebel. And right about now the song says a lot. Gotta love Lyrical Dissonance (sorry for the second TV Tropes link...I should make a rule to only direct you all to that time sucker once per post...or just TropesRoll you without announcing it):

Sparkle, Neely, Sparkle!

I'm sure there are intelligent things I could be doing-like studying, and if I'm going to instead waste time on this blog I could be writing about something intelligent, but I just feel like doing something fun (okay, I ended up analyzing everything below, albeit not very well). I was going to write about Girl Scout Camp back in the day and how much I miss it, but (a) that has potential to be sappy sappy, and (b) Carrie Brownstein (of Sleater-Kinney) just beat me to it in writing a blog post about her favorite summer camp songs and I could take it as coincidence, or as a sign that I should or should not write my post, but for the time being I'm going to not be a copy cat. Not that Carrie and I have overlapping readership or anything...I'm sure that post will come soon enough.

Anyways, hmm...pure, unadulterated fun...I know! I present to you...

Sienna's Guiltiest Pleasures

Actually, I'm sure I'll forget some of the guilty ones. And I already established that I'm bad at Top 5/Top 10 Lists (Yeah, I'm still not a together person...but I guess Rob Fleming wasn't, either...) I'm not even sure I'm going to feel like writing explanations for each one...I guess it's not really necessary. I mean, if you like something, you like something. Actually, I'm not sure how guilty/embarrassed I feel about any of these. I kind of want to re-name this "Things Sienna Likes That Other People Judge Her For, Yet She Goes On Liking Them", but that doesn't flow nicely.

I mean, sure, when other people are discussing great American literature that they're fond of and then I really want to chime in with how I *love* Valley of the Dolls I usually hold back...there are some things that truly are in bad taste for me to like. But for a lot of these I don't know why they're considered bad/tacky/low-class/whatver. As long as something's not outright offensive, what's wrong with liking it? I think the fact that we consider some things to be in bad taste when there's no real reason for it is pretty pretentious. There are plenty of things that I like for irony's sake, but lately I've been feeling bad about that. The whole irony thing is often a bunch of privileged and/or "in-crowd" people deciding to deride something that someone else either genuinely likes or, in other cases, has to purchase/wear out of necessity. I should probably cut that out.

(I still want a Three Wolf Moon shirt)

So I guess I'll start with the aforementioned Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann...I think I've read this book, with its adorable pink cover with the pill cut-outs, like 5 times. Long story short: A young woman leaves her New England hometown to go to New York City and make a name for herself, gets caught up in showbiz and becomes a drug addict. I knew I was going to love it when I read the godawful poem (Poem? I think that's what Susann was going for) in the front of the book...I like it because it sounds an awful lot like any poetry I've ever tried to write. Then..."...New York was steaming-an angry concrete animal caught unawares in an unreasonable hot spell"...and you're off! This is the book that started my trashy novel phase in high school, from Jackie Collins to such gems as Wanton Slave (which floated around my school's hallways, for some reason) and I Shocked the Sheriff. The story just sucks you in...and you read, and you read, and you read, and in the end you don't feel like you've gained anything at all, except a chance to escape and to realize that your life isn't that bad. There was also a movie made of it, which is now a camp classic (Susann allegedly walked out of the screening in disgust), but the book's the best. Reading is always more intelligent than watching a movie, right? (Go here if you want to read some of it...or just ask to borrow my copy..I'm glad to spread the love)

Next, a few musical guilty pleasures for you...I think I posted some of these on Facebook a while back so bear with me if you're a true cyber-stalker who's seen these already.

Vixen: Edge of  a Broken Heart

I really don't know why I like some 80s Hair Metal. I guess  I'm just a sucker for a good guitar riff. And female rock musicians are my favorite thing ever, hence the Vixen love, ... I mean, yeah, they're all wearing tight clothing (though I guess male Hair metal musicians dressed exactly the same...equal opportunity works in weird ways) and whining about heartbreak in most of their songs, but if you get past that they're just as talented as any 80s metal band (not saying much?) And the big hair and flashy clothes are just too awesome to pass up.

Vixen - Cryin @ Yahoo! Video

Dixie Chicks: Goodbye Earl

This was my favorite song in the 4th or 5th grade. I remember my best friend and I had learned the lyrics to like every song on MTV or VH1 (they played music? whoa) and would sing them at our school's after school program, and this was one of them. I don't know how I feel about the fact that little 10 year old me was running around singing about battling domestic violence with domestic violence. Actually, I know exactly how I feel about that, so if anything, that's why this song is a guilty pleasure. (No guilt about liking the Dixie Chicks...In fact, after sitting through Robert Altman's Nashville I sort of have a soft spot for country music...Okay, maybe not a soft spot as much as an infatuation with an element of Americana to which I've never felt much of an affinity)



Wilson Phillips: The Dream is Still Alive

I love, love, loooooove Wilson Phillips. I grew up listening to Carnie and Wendy Wilson's Christmas album every December, which I'm sure has a lot to with it (I'm planning a really aweosme post for July 25, FWIW...My Christmas Songs post was going to be for December but I don't think I can wait that long). And music from the 90s makes me very happy, as a reminder of my childhood-they were like the cool big kids that I wanted to be when I grew up (Yeah, I still want to dress like them). Plus, if you're the child of hippies you're like automatically aweosme until proven otherwise in my book (I chose this song becasue it reflects that...whee, being nostalgic for/trying to live the life of your parent's generation!). And depsite the fact that, "Hold On" aside, they're mainly known for Carnie's size (I mean, really?) (Also, I can't believe how far behind I am on her reality show...unheard of!) and for having batshit families (Carnie and Wendy Wilson are the daughters of a Beach Boy, and Chynna Phillips the daughter of a Mama & a Papa and there was weird stuff with her dad and her half sister and blah blah), they're actually quite talented...I wish I had people I could harmonize like that with!



Grateful Dead: Casey Jones
Indigo Girls: Uncle John's Band
Okay, so I actually really like the Indigo Girls, and I really like the Grateful Dead. And I really really like the Indigo Girls covering the Grateful Dead. But I don't like fitting stereotypes, and I feel like the fact that I really like the aforementioned groups show how I fit various labels to a tee, and that makes me uncomfortable. So sometimes I pretend to like things ironically so I'm not some type of sterotype, but self-derision isn't any better than deriding someone else's taste (and if I ever get that Jeep Wrangler I was eying this morning...I wouldn't know how to pass such a big purchase off as ironic; I'd just have to go with it. Same with a hippie van or some little eco-friendly car...which I guess Jeeps aren't.). Really, going out of your way to reject stereotypes is as bad a going out of your way to propogate them or push them on others; you're still affirming the existence of the stereotype.



The best part of the Indigo Girls covering "Uncle John's Band" is the "Sister, well i declare..." line and "Ain't no time to hate, sister, barely time to wait" thing they added. I was like "They would..."

The best part of "Casey Jones" is...the whole thing! After "Touch of Grey", I think this was the first Dead song I heard and after bursting out in laughter on, the "high on cocaine" line I had another "They Would" moment...So why can't I have "I would" moments in my own life?




Speaking of stereotypes, let's move on to movies. Something I am actually reluctant to say that I like, something I've never liked ironically; I've tried to dislike it but I seriously can't look away, it's like a car crash (which I think ties into the movie somehow): Basic Instinct. I mean, gay rights groups picketed the movie with signs spoling the ending : [highlight for spoiler] She's the killer [highlight for spoiler] because of its portrayal of queer women as hypersexual psychos/killers/psycho-killers. And that hasn't really changed in time (Ohai, Jenny Schecter, and...whoever the fuck actually killed her). Judging by the length of the "Psycho Lesbian" and "Depraved Bisexual" pages on TV Tropes (I advise waiting until after exams are over before you explore TV Tropes...it can take up your entire day/week/life), it's quite a problem. Yet I don't think therein lies my specific problem with this movie; I think my problem with it is just with the over-the-top sex and violence (often conflated) in general. Let's compare it with Mulholland Drive, one of my favorite movies and far, far, from a guilty pleasure: because I feel no guilt about liking it, and instead of bringing me pleasure it actually makes me really sad. But anyways...Mulholland Drive has lots of sex and violence, and I've seen it like 10 times and still don't really understand the plot, but from what I gather [highlight for spoiler] The female protagonist's girlfriend leaves her for a man. so the protagonist goes crazy, hires a hitman to kill the GF and then kills herself [highlight for spoiler] (I'm sure that spoiler's tempting you sorely...and even if you're planning on watching the film but have yet to see it I might acutally advise reading a few spoilers first or you'll have no clue what's going on). On paper its plot doesn't the sound much better than Basic Instinct's. But the sex and violence is much more tasteful (there's the concept of "taste" again...anyone want to delve deeper into that for me?) in Mulholland Drive, and the film's widely known as a masterpiece; the narrative and cinematography are works of art; David Lynch doesn't make exploitation films (can't really quantify what he makes, though). I think the reason I feel guilty about liking Basic Instinct is that it doesn't have artistic mertit to fall back on so it relies solely on gratuitous sex and hacking away at people with ice picks. Plus, usually I think it's a good thing when characters in movies and such just happen to be LGBT without it having to do with the overarching themes of the work, but in this case there's no real reason for Catherine Tramell to be bisexual other than to tantalize and in the context of a movie about a murderer it's kind of an awful idea. The relationship between the women in Mulholland Drive contributes to the plot and even though Diane's actions are questionable, I always want to give her a hug. But, yeah, my issue with Basic Instinct is still mainly that it's a bad movie (but it's so enthralling, still!) (and apparently better than the sequel)





(I bet this is gonna be the day that my entire family reads my blog...just as I'm leaving to go home for the summer...SWEET timing)

I really didn't want to deconstruct all my favorite things, but I'm doing just that...Hm...what's something I like, and my guilt about it comes from an obvious place...*clap*clap* Xanadu!

Starring Gene Kelly and Olivia Newton-John (and some guy who couldn't sing yet got cast in a musical and probably never made another movie). It's about this guy who paints replicas of album covers and hates his job...and then this muse visits him and he is inspired to open up a roller disco that combines elements from the dying days of disco with elements from the 1940s. And they sing about it. And there's this random Disney-esque animated sequence in the middle that makes no sense. And the special effects make me thing of We Have Lasers. I'm not making any of this up. Actually, the music is pretty awesome-Gene Kelly and ONJ are musical staples and there's tons of Electric Light Orchestra. That's the only real redeeming quality to this movie, yet I don't think that's why I really like it; I think it's just so rediculous that it's amazing.

Here's the trailer, which makes it seem like an updated Footlight Parade or some grand musical spectacle of that sort:






Expect a pt. 2 to this sometime, but for now I need to actually get stuff done today. Oh, reading week...where have you gone? What have I accomplished? LeSigh.

If anyone feels like commenting, leave some of your guilty pleasures! Analysis optional.

You touched my hand, I played it cool...

Hmmm, classes are over; I don't know how I feel about it. In every one we rushed through the last few weeks of the syllabus and then the professors were like "kthxbai" and now everything seems so incomplete, inside and out of class.

It's not an end, because I'll come back to school and things won't necessarily be the way they are now (and I hate it when things change while you're away and you're not around to contribute/control it/watch it happen…gah, I’m like the only one not sticking around. I wish I were around for all the group bonding that's going to be happening), but likely they will be very similar (except for people going abroad and graduating, which makes me sad).

It's not a beginning of something new, because I'll go home and things will be exactly how I left them, which is partly comforting and partly confining.

Just a disruption from what's been the norm, and I'm sure going back to school after the summer will be equally as disruptive, just like it was last summer. I feel like I have 2 very separate lives, and whenever I have to switch from one to the other, it’s so jarring, even if I wouldn’t trade either life for anything.


Ends of summers, ends of semesters, ends of everything...they always seem so rushed/sudden, which sucks because I look at beginnings of these things as infinite, like I have all the time in the world, and then all of a sudden it's like "nope, sorry". And then I turn into this sappy sad-sack. Like at the end of each semester I start to miss not only the beginning of the semester when everything was new and excitng, but the ends of semesters past, for some reason. And since nobody wants to hang around with a blubbering sentimentalist I guess I’ll save all that for here, when people can click the little X on the top of their browser at any time if I get obnoxious.


Last Spring, I spent reading week...lo and behold, reading! But I wasn't reading for, say, my optional Psych final (which I only really took because I was sticking around for a Fleetwood Mac concert anyway)...I think I was scrambling to finish as many books in the Tales of the City series (one of the things that got me excited for going back to school last fall was being able to finish the series. STFU) and this book from Nylon on female musicians and their style. And a few days I wandered around campus by myself and climbed/sat in/under trees and listened to cheesy 70s pop music (I don't know why I associate springtime with the songs from VH1's 40 Most Sensational Soft Rock Songs...I think that song about there being a warm wind blowing and stars out and really wanting to see someone tonight has something to do with it. Oh, and that "Summer Breeze" song...I think the artists behind those 2 songs were related, actually...ANYWAYS)

If you'd like to humor me, or need new fodder for making fun of me, here you go:

I'd Really Love to See You Tonight by England Dan & John Ford Coley @ Yahoo! Video

What was I talking about before I revealed my awful taste in music? Oh, right...I'd love to repeat the whole wandering by myself and listening to England Dan and John Ford Coley, except (a) I kind of don't appreciate solitude the way I did a year ago, and (b) (more importantly) I think my iPod, Angel, is lost forever. Maybe next year, with a new iPod (I hate how every Birthday/Christmas present I’ve gotten recently has been a replacement for something I’ve lost or broken…this is why I shouldn’t have nice things), I can finally try to relive it, but it'll be with a different iPod (and not my beloved Angel the 30 GB video model), and probably a new musical guilty pleasure.


Just goes to show that you can never really recreate a moment. Which sometimes is great, when you're back in a place/situation/what have you and you'd love to start over there, and recreate yourself and your life in that setting, but other times sucks, when dealing with a perfect moment that you'd love to get back. How sad is it that listening to bad music while sitting in a tree is considered one of the more perfect moments of my life?


Anyways, now I'm thinking of yet another Fleetwood Mac song...I first heard "Seven Wonders" about this time last year...I'd just gotten back home for summer break, and the night before I'd seen FM in St. Louis, as referenced above. I was on a Stevie kick and was wishing that I could've stayed in that concert venue forever and ever with the diehard classic rock fans and the middle-aged ladies in lacy black dresses carrying tambourines. I went to my room and unpacked my bags and looked around my room and had no idea what to do with myself, so I put the Stevie channel of Last.FM radio on and this came on. I'd heard of the song, but had never actually heard it. I thought it was a gorgeous song, and even though it wasn't written by Stevie (she got songwriting credit just because she changed a line from “You touched my hand, all the way down the line” down to “all the way down to Emmeline” after mishearing it. Wut.) it had "her" written all over it:



Fleetwood Mac - Seven Wonders @ Yahoo! Video

Summer 2009 has been the best summer of my life so far (whenever I get sad about leaving school now I think back to how much fun it was), and that song makes me think of it. I listened to the song on the flight to Italy (along with “Babooshka” by Kate Bush…but I don’t think that song was at all indicative of my life then or now. And the video’s just plain creepy)

Kate Bush - Babooshka @ Yahoo! Video

But, yeah, "Seven Wonders" sort of captured what I thought of Capri as I ran down a steep and winding path to get as close to the clear-blue water as possible. I remember thinking that there couldn’t possibly be a place prettier than this, and I have yet to find one. So now the song makes me think of lots of near-perfect moments of the past year, in all sorts of contexts, moments I’ve yet to top, moments I’d love to get back, but if I don’t, at least I have the memories of those certain places at certain times and under certain circumstances. And if I never live to match the beauty of any given situation again (which I probably will…I mean I really do have all the time in the world as far as I’m concerned), at least I’ll know that such moments are possible, and I guess that’s comforting.


Oh, and I like how when I tag/label these posts I can use the same tags for pretty much every one. Sort of defeats the purpose of the labels, and shows how damn repetitive I am.

Still the wanting comes in waves...

WANT. I shall wear with my snuggie, and when I get them, Necky and Tiddy Bear

Anyways, some random things that annoy me in life:

-Having no idea who you are, yet every idea of what you want...it's very problematic. Like, you think that you'll be able to figure out yourself by getting what you want but you can't get what you want unless you have some sense of self. Whatev. I'm sure it's the struggle of every 19 year old.

-When the book you want to check out of the library is checked out and won't be returned for a month (FWIW, it's No One Belongs Here More Than You by Miranda July). Then realizing what a hypocrite you are for thinking that when you've had the same books out since September. It's really the last part that bothers me. But I still want the book and all...

-Power outages when you're about to write a paper that's due in like 2 hours so that you have to trek to the other side of campus before you can write it. Still, better than power outages when you're in the process of writing a paper. And if I hadn't spilled my latte this morning so that I had to go back and get a new one, that's what would've happened. Maybe someone is watching out for me somewhere.

-Speaking of both ordering food and getting library books...this one is taken from High Fidelity, which I just finished reading...Okay I was going to quote it but I can't find the right page and eventually I'll need to get off and do my enviro reading...anyways, when you see something appetizing in a bakery display case and you don't know what it is and it's called an "ooey gooey square" and you want one but you don't want to request it by such a stupid name. Hornby used a different (and more humorous) example in the book, but that's been my predicament through my whole college career. I guess one day I'll just go in and ask to try "one of those things".

-Trying to intellectualize things that can't be intellectualized in my mind, like love and happiness and the meaning of life. Though thinking would likely provide some good solutions, some things just require feeling and not thinking. Even if I once got a fortune cookie that read "Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think". That was the worst fortune ever, worse than the one I got (and gave to one of my dolls cause I was eating chinese with them like a good only child does in her free time) that said I'd encounter a strange party sometime soon. And not funny like any one of gotten that sounds great with "in bed" added to the end.

(But really, I can't wait til the world can stop thinking and just be.)

-Nostalgia (I like the Portuguese term "saudades" more, really). Part of me loves being disgustingly sappy and sentimental (Reason why I'm a perfect Cancerian #639), but really...Ow ow owwww. This is why feeling insted of thinking is sometimes bad.

-Otherism, or rather, the "other" accepting/embracing it. I mean, nobody should be expected to assimilate to the mainstream, but there's a point where way too many divisions are created. And building communities based off of a division that the core has made to describe the periphery seems off. And were I to completely embrace all of the ways in which I'm "other" I'd end up closing myself off from society completely in a little community of one. Though I do appreciate community building, so this could just be an ephemeral "it bothers me".

-Lighter note? It bothers me when I'm accessing the shared music folder of someone else on my school's wifi network and the songs are all mistagged and there's nothing you can do about it. But I should just count my blessings that I can listen to Avril Lavigne and Sum 41 without having to contaminate my own iTunes library (sorry if I'm blatantly referring to your library and you're reading this)

-Oh, and the fact that no matter what I do, the above video remains big enough to cover the sidebar of my blog. Gah.

Okay, that's all for now, folks.

all the clouds are cumuloft walking in space

So I've kept a lot of blogs in my 19.5 years on this earth (not that I've been blogging for that long, since I didn't know words for a while in the beginning and I'm pretty sure the concept of a blog didn't exist in 1990) (I still can't believe 1990 was 20 years ago. I still think of dates in the past relative to 2000). Anyways, looking back, none of them have been worth reading. My first one, a Xanga, was started when I was fresh out of middle school, so that's excusable, I guess (read it for a laugh if you want). And I've tried to keep one on my *gulp* Myspace (not even providing the link to that one...just stay away) and Facebook. And, of course, I still have my livejournal. But that seems to be a muddle of angsty musings and valid thoughts, and I thought, hey, why dont' I separate them out so I have something someone might want to read one day (someone like me, 10 years from now, who's not gonna want to cringe the whole way through). If you want to read narcissistic posts full of quiz results, boring surveys, and the "happy/crappy" of daily life, you should head over there. But if you're not into that, hopefully this'll be more your speed. Though it'll still be plenty narcissistic, since, well, why else do people start blogs?

I have a shit ton more of these social network type things floating around, most of which I've prolly forgotten about. Oh, and Twitter, too. At least I fess up to my narcissism.


Oh, and after typing this I absent-mindedly clicked on the facebook icon on my toolbar, like I always do, and freaked out cause I thought I had lost this post...but I backtracked and it was still there. Thanks, autosave!