Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I feel bad.

I've been neglecting this site. For a Tumblr of all things. Yeah, I caved. And it isn't even a themed one (though I did register the name "FuckYeahMatchGame" should I ever want to get on that train).

I don't know, it's easy to post things, entries are meant to be short (I take way too long writing things for here and they turn out long and rambly). It's nice exercise in conciseness and I can post exorbitant (I always try to put an H in that word) amounts of Stevie Nicks pictures and people will love me for it (a very specific subset of people, mind you, but still...)

So, yeah, for silly pictures and drunken Fleetwood Mac faces, gohere. Again, angsty whining that I don't want you to see is for livejournal (If you don't have access to it, I'm probably writing about, jk, I have more important things to write about. Actually, yeah, I've prolly written about you, whoever you are. Not necessarily a bad thing.). And I'll try to be vaguely interesting when I post here. Deal?

But things here will likely still be long and rambly, unless I decide I really love microblogging (Wikipedia says Twitter is a microblogging service, which it totes is, but I've never thought of it that way before...I've always thought of it more as where you post what you ate for dinner after your facebook friends get sick of your daily "shower then work then eating pizza with @soandso and @soandso! and chillin all night!!! <3 <3" statuses (Which are totally fine when talking about a particularly exciting/fun day, and hey, I guess they're more individualized than "Can We Pretend That Airplanes In The Night Sky Are Like Shooting Stars I Could Really Use A Wish Right Now <3) (I just FB searched that line and as I was searching for it 2 more people out there in the world decided that line said everything they were feeling and felt the need to share it with their friends) (I'd be okay with all this if it some kind of epically classic song, but...) (I'm a fan of "not making your status the lyrics from Airplanes on facebook)(I'm prolly gonna lose a lot of Facebook friends over this post). Let's move on before I belittle anyone else's facebook statuses...I swear I'm not judging any of my Facebook friends in particular too harshly. Just overall. And I post superfluous Farmville/Treasure Isle/Frontierville [best game ever. Seriously. Even if you hate Farmville and the people who play it give this one a chance. There's going to be an Oregon Trail component at some point] things about clumsy reindeer and clobbering groundhogs on the head, so it's not like I'm the ideal Facebook friend.

Topic? A while ago in Pride Alliance we did this thing where we came up with stories where our gender affected us in some way, for better or for worse (usually for worse). I knew gender constructs were everywhere and affected everything, but I struggled to come up with stories that were both interesting/entertaining and thought provoking) But as of now I have a situation I wish I could've brought up, cause though it's a pretty common one, I don't know what to make of it. So yesterday I was boarding the metro, and I assume a Cardinals game was about to start, since the train was packed with Red-clad sports-fan-looking people. Anyways, I couldn't find a seat, so I stood up front and held on to the support bar thing, as did this other girl who got on the same time I did. So then this man who was sitting down signals for his pre-teen sons who are sitting in front of him to give up their seats for us. They didn't move at first, the other girl was like, "oh no, it's fine" and I had my iPod in so I pretended not to hear, cause I didn't want the kids to give up their seats. The man kept insisting, saying his kids "had to learn eventually" A bunch of thoughts ran through my mind:
(A) Damn, my backpack's heavy! And it's hot today and I sure am tired! I guess I'll take the seat. La di da. (The other girl and I both eventually sat)
(B) I'm getting off at the next stop, it's really alright, I don't need the seat.
(C) I don't want to make the kids disobey their dad and I don't want to take away his authority. I guess I'll sit. (I mean, he can raise his kids however he wants. I was just uncomfortable that I was dragged into the lesson he was teaching them when I didn't necessarily agree with it)
(D) If it's so important to you, why are you making your kids stand? Maybe I'm making false assumptions, but you seem perfectly capable of offering me your seat... (On a bad day, and if I had been feeling slightly bolder and if the guy hadn't been bigger and older and scary, I would've said this; it's probably what irked me the most. But if for some reason he'd been unable to stand I would've felt really bad)
(E) If you're trying to impress a woman, then sure, offer her your seat. Not because it's chivalrous, but because it's giving and she'll think you're a considerate person. But I don't think these kids want to pick me up or anything. And I hope their dad didn't want to.
(F) Eeeeee, Midwestern Hospitality! I love it!!! (I'm surprisingly traditional for someone so progressive. It's a shame that so many traditions have unfortunate implications)
(G) Raaaaaaar Listen, having a vagina doesn't mean I'm so weak that I can't stand upright for five minutes whilst traveling from point A to point B, so fuck off, mister I am crazy feminist hear me rrrrooooaaarrr Towandaaaaa! (This would've embarrassed everyone involved, myself and women everywhere included and especially the kids, and that's definitely not what i wanted to do. But it did cross my mind)

So I thanked the kids as I got off the metro, since I was thankful that they were nice about it and all, but after I started walking way from the station I was worried about what message I had just sent them. Like I don't know what I should've said in that situation, since kindly rejecting the seat didn't work and the kids had already stood up, but I wish I'd said something. Like if a guy holds a door for me or even if he offers me his seat on the metro because it's a nice thing to do, then great, that's very kind nice of him. But eventually these kids might think that while it's something they might not be inclined to do (which is fine. I wouldn't give up a comfy seat on a train unless someone really needed it. I mean, there's giving and there's catering to everyone's wishes) it's something expected (which it might be as of now), something necessary, and something women need men to do for them. Yet I'm sure the man didn't mean anything unfortunate by it and was just following how he'd been raised, and I'm sure he was a perfectly well-adjusted person and a great parent and he definitely stuck to what he believed in.
I don't know; sometimes my love/romanticism for all things old-fashioned comes into conflict with everything else I value.

So I took part in a psych experiment on body image today and I was going to segue into a rant about those and how sad some of the things I was asked on the survey made me feel (not because of my answers, but because of how I imagined others answered), and I started to write it, but I feel like I should do some research on the matter first before I say something insensitive/offensive/uneducated. So that's coming up. And if you have any ideas for an entry, on here, tumblr, LJ, or otherwise, let me know.

1 comment:

  1. 1) I'm beginning to think that linking to tvtropes is your own personal form of rickrolling.

    2) On the chivalry topic, it's frustrating how women can't be chivalrous. I like holding doors open, but usually when I do this, the first male (who's teenage or older) tries to take the door for/from me. Even when prompted to walk past with a "Thanks, I've got it.", he generally stays, reaching over my shoulder or head to hold the door open. The same way that the father on the train was most likely just trying to do a good deed, and was prolly brought up being taught that a man holds the door for a woman, I realize that the males who take over door-holding aren't consciously trying to patronize me. But at the same time, it's frustrating that men feel emasculated if a woman tries to reciprocate an act of politeness.